Your best friend does not have to become the best friend for your partner. However, if the closest people in your life do not get along, this will create many problems, the main of which is that you will always have to choose between them. How to treat the fact that the partner cannot find a common language with your friends, and whether it is worth interfering?
Talk About It with Your Partner
Even if they do not say directly that they do not like your friends, you will probably notice this by their behavior. Honesty and communication can solve any problem in a relationship, so start with a conversation. Do not blame or conclude at once. Ask how they treat your friends, what they like about them and what they don’t. Find out how, in their opinion, friendship should look like, and how they perceive friendship in general. Can they find friends on a hot girl dating site? Perhaps you just have different views on a friendship: it is almost a family for you, while your partner doesn’t understand how you can spend so much time with those who are not your close relatives. In this case, there is no sense to look for the reasons for hostility to specific people or try to impose on them the importance of such communication.
Understand How Much It Is Important to You
You should realize whether your partner’s unwillingness to communicate with one of your friends will be a problem. Perhaps most often, you spend time with them separately and do not mix friendly and romantic communication. You are more comfortable with each of them in private, and you do not think that your partner and friends should get along. Sometimes people painfully perceive the unwillingness of a romantic partner to communicate with friends because this suggests that a person will have to always distinguish between these spheres of relationships and sacrifice one or the other.
Decide on Whether It’s Necessary to Involve Your Partner in Hanging Out with Friends
Think about possible compromises in advance. Even if your partner and friends usually do not meet, there will be events when you want to gather them all. For example, a birthday or other important occasion for you. In such cases, you should make sure that at least one or two people will find a common language with your partner, and they will not feel like an outcast.
Talk with Your Friends About the Situation
When it comes to close friends with whom you have been together much longer than with the partner, you should discuss the problem with them too. Find out how they feel about your partner, whether their animosity is mutual. Ask how they explain its root causes. If you trust these people, a second opinion will not be superfluous. Besides, this will explain to them why you so categorically separate your friends and partner, or it will become an occasion to behave more correctly in their presence.
Analyze Your Values
Relations with people, both romantic or friendly, involves sharing common hobbies and values. That’s why it is interesting to analyze how it happened that people with whom you have a lot in common cannot get along. Think about how you feel with a partner and with friends. With whom are you more real, relaxed, sincere? Sometimes people are more open with friends, sometimes the partner becomes the main best friend for them. This will not help reconcile a partner with friends but will allow you to understand a lot about your relationship with each of them.
Make Sure the Problem Is Not the Partner
Of course, among your friends, there may be people who your partner will not like, and vice versa. In such cases, it’s enough not to try to make them get closer. However, if your partner treats all your friends equally disdainfully or negatively, this is a reason to beware. Often abusers behave this way: they strive to separate the partner from other people so that it is easier for them to manipulate. Such a person can perceive all your friends as a threat to relationships, disrespectfully speak about your friends without an objective reason, consider that they “spoil” you. If a partner forces you to abandon all past contacts, it is worth considering whether you have made the right choice. Friendship gives us many advantages in life: emotional support, confidence, help. That is why it is worth the effort to maintain a friendship after marriage or in adulthood.